Cutting a cup of chives every day until this Reddit says they’re perfect. Day 24

by F1exican

40 Comments

  1. Practical_Fix_5350

    I’m here early. I just want to say:

    Good luck and Godspeed chef.

  2. MysticalRedneck

    Let’s hope for no planes, it’s looking great’ (As Always)

  3. going_gorillas

    Aren’t you ever tempted to pick out the imperfect ones and give them another go ?

  4. wrestlegirl

    IT’S CHIVE TIME!!

    https://i.redd.it/oanb14j0ebyf1.gif

    **EDIT:**

    In the interest of Giving the People What They Want – if you get the ref we can be friends and maybe kiss a little – I paid even closer attention than usual to the metrics on today’s chive post in semi-real time.

    The post hit r/popular in under 90 minutes. Nearly all of the chive posts do so, but this was on the quick side. In order to hit one of the front pages a post has to get a bunch of upvotes pretty quickly – 4000 upvotes in an hour will do the trick nicely. All of those upvotes are coming from people actively viewing the subreddit; generally this means people SUBSCRIBED to the subreddit who are frequently on their Reddit Home page. In simple terms, the bulk of the upvotes come from people who actively participate in this community.

    In that same time the OP got 5 reports and there are maybe 10 downvoted comments complaining about chives.

    So what do the people actually want? Aside from hugs and chainsaws, the actual real numbers continue to show that the people actively involved in this subreddit *want the goddamn chive posts*.

    In the immortal words of ~~Frank “Grabass” Hernandez~~ Chuck Taylor: “Put the cake on his dick!” I don’t know what that has to do with chives but it’s what the people want.

  5. ImLazyWithUsernames

    Giving /u/KarmaKrazi a run for their money

  6. SomnambulantThing

    Well, only one plane today… Not sure that’s better though. See you tomorrow chef!

  7. manchvegasnomore

    I was legitimately concerned I hadn’t seen this. I can’t wait for the day, in a year or so, where everyone is like “Great Job chef!”

    This is a tradition now.

  8. WaffleHouseGladiator

    Scanning for imperfections…

    ![gif](giphy|3ohc14lCEdXHSpnnSU)

  9. chefkylecooks

    100 times to learn, 1000 times to master..
    Keep it up buttercup.

  10. WeenieHut-Sr

    Fear not the man who has cut 10000 chives one time. Fear the man who has cut 1 cup of chives 10000 times.

  11. RockingInTheCLE

    I just need you to know that I cannot cook to save my life, and have no idea how these posts started showing up on my feed, but I’m committed now. I feel like this will turn into something similar to the Olympics – you’re doing something I could never do, but dammit, I will judge the hell out of your performance. Thank you, Chef.

    (but cripes, a little consistency in your sizing, please)

  12. Kex_Luthor

    The start and end of the chives is where they often separate and kinda miss the blade edge just a smidge. To counter this I cut the bunch right over the middle and fold so you have a fresh, uniform edge to start from (or just do the one “side” at a time if perfection is of the essence).
    Once you get to the end, take your time and collect the bunch often, and if they end up wonky: use them for something else.. Hope this makes sense in english

  13. Used-Willingness-218

    I had a bad day and just wanted to come here and ANGRILY FIND A MISTAKE…

    It was therapeutic, thank you

  14. Cpt_squishy

    Sisyphus has come to cut the chive yet again

  15. Novel_Diver8628

    ![gif](giphy|X3wqnW90BLrNYWSayh)

    HEY EVERYONE CHIVE GUY POSTED GET THE FUCK IN HERE

  16. I haven’t worked in a kitchen in 8 years but I’ve been following you on this journey friend.

    That being said, are you cutting these with a snickers bar? Back to work!

  17. inazuma_kick

    https://preview.redd.it/re9cv0npobyf1.png?width=1204&format=png&auto=webp&s=13872b0926adb5d3a72a464408f30c1b2ae348d3

    # “You can’t manage what you don’t measure” Peter Drucker

    Method:

    ImageJ>Analyze>Tools>Apply grid (each square is 50,000 pixels)

    Manually measured one chive per square. Individual chive must be reasonably perpendicular to camera, with unobscured edges, and not touching grid lines. Measured at least 30 chives per image. If a candidate chive was closer to the center of the area, I selected that one. The cut surfaces of the chive must also be unambiguous.

    The measurement is in pixels, not normalized to any known length. Errors can be due to camera distance, focus, chive angle, layout of chive spread. Thin sliced chives are also more likely to lay as an “O” because they don’t have enough sidewall to hold them up (most evident on Day 8). Mangled chives or unfully-cut-through chives (doublets/triplets) were rejected during data collection.

  18. On day 69, I think we just give it to him. Even if the chives are absolutely butchered.